The Rationalist conception of the self identifies the subject, the “I”, as a “captain” wielding autonomous rational authority over his subservient attitudes and behaviors—his “crew”. I argue that such a conception of the self is metaphysically untenable and that its practical and ethical ramifications are unattractive. In its place I recommend an alternative, Holistic, “Crew of Captains” conception of the self, and explain its metaphysical, practical and ethical advantages.